Aquaman : Movie Review
Ok, so we admit it. We went to watch Aquaman purely because of Jason Drogho Momoa. (And well, the redhead, you gotta love'em, eh)
But how much of beefy brawn surf humour and undulating wavy underwater hair-wigs can you tolerate, when you really just walked in hoping for a super hero origin story right? Well, seems like you can take almost three stinking hours of it.
So Aquaman, the latest salvo from the sinking DC ship just about has enough ballast to keep the ship afloat a bit more, I guess. It's filled with mind blowing action set pieces, crazy CGI and ...yawn...ennui-inducing plot lines. Don't get me wrong, It's not a bad movie but I clearly was hard-pressed to find that soul buried deep under all that recklessly inventive CGI effects ( Octopoid drummers, Shark rides, Killer Sea Horses the list is endless!) and the boring politicking of the Atlantean princes that just didn't end. Towards the sozzled climax full of colourful water-gun plasma explosions and teeth horrors straight from the animation studio heads' worst nightmares, I did feel like a weight is lifting off.
The predictable storyline follows Arthur narrating the forbidden love-story of his parents Atlana, queen of Atlantis (glittering towering metropolis of jewels and towers in the depths of the ocean forced to submerge owing to the hubris of the older Atlanteans) and Tom, 'keeper of Lighthouse' on a rocky coast off America [ The geography of the seas and the land featured in the story is all over the place - with very insightful notations like 'Somewhere in the North Sea', 'Someplace deep inside Atlantic'...sigh!) Arthur is the love child born of the union of two different worlds, prophesied to unit both the worlds one day. But Arthur can't be bothered with the trivialities of ruling a nation, even less the nitpicking politics of his mother's homeland; especially since he's convinced these folks have executed thier Queen for having a child of the land dweller. But the real reason, of course, is that he loves his beer and selfies with his bar-brawling community of HOGs back on dry land.
It takes Princess Mera's (Amber Heard trying too hard to emote despite the shiny green bodysuit and the outrageous red wig they fit her into) wavy red hair and charms to bring the man down to the courts of Atlantis once again but there he is defeated by the earnest Prince Orm (Patrick Wilson), who with his aquiline roman nose and perfect almost-white blond hair looks exactly like how the heir of Atlana ( Nicole Kidman!) should look like. He is a pure blood Atlantean who truly believes he is the king and his conviction lets him win this fight.
But all is not lost as Mera falls for the roguish charm and smoky eyes of the mongrel child of the sea and land alike and escapes with him; Both of them take off to the kingdom of Deserters( Yeah! I know!) Now this place is set in modern day Sahara and becomes something like a quest to retrieve the "original" trident of the first king of Atlantis - so surf-boy can stake his rightful claims. Many twists and turns later, after surviving countless horrors come to life beautifully (including an intense but short side-diversion in the form of Black Manta, a comic-villain essayed by Yahya Abdul Mateen II, who is a pirate nursing vengeance against the Aquaman for having lost his father on a botched up pirate mission. More on this in a while) on the large screen in excellent CGI. We get back for one more duel that will be decide the future of the worlds as outraged Orm has decided to take some extreme steps to wipe out land-dwellers once and for all, cure them of their dirty habits of throwing plastic cups into the sea.
The story really is that of a prodigal son coming back home to rightfully claim the crown but it becomes unnecessarily muddled with a boring quest and some (undoubtedly brilliant) action sequences. Try as I might, I just couldn't care for Arthur and his blood-rights. Jason tries, oh yeah he tries hard. The devilish grin, the kooky laughs, the smoky eyes - and that surfer body tattooed to an inch with rune-marks. He sadly doesn't get saddled with enough acting opportunities other than ogling at Amber and generally looking good. James Wan focused more on the outrageous sets and the mind-rattling CGI effects and throws us into the middle of a lot of fights, that I heartily confess , sticks to the wall. Patrick Wilson, as the outraged King about to be dethroned by hard-drinking, biker with bad scraggly hair ( who I must say, doesn't look a thing like the possible progeny of Nicole Kidman and that sad bloke near the lighthouse) is earnest enough but hey, we always knew the illegitimate son of Lucius/Draco Malfoy act was a diversion not bound to last through. Yahya is wasted in a side-reel on a vengeance mission - a bit of a delight as I thought he brings in enough menace as a coloured villain but hope gets killed real-fast with his bug-eyed helmet act that had me laughing as he fell heads-down off a rocky cliff. Amber gets to swing her fists, play at magic with her eyes rolled back, mouth wide open when she parts water or shoots down water-planes. But that wasn't enough.
The extraneous plot and the mind-boggling CGI sets cannot see a movie through. In all honesty, Jason could have shouldered a lot more of the acting burden but I guess, the makers just wanted to bring in the comic-book effects bang-on onto the large screen. A largely inconsequential storyline that has no bearing whatsoever on the DC movies story-arc, for me Aquaman - was just barely passable fare.
But how much of beefy brawn surf humour and undulating wavy underwater hair-wigs can you tolerate, when you really just walked in hoping for a super hero origin story right? Well, seems like you can take almost three stinking hours of it.
So Aquaman, the latest salvo from the sinking DC ship just about has enough ballast to keep the ship afloat a bit more, I guess. It's filled with mind blowing action set pieces, crazy CGI and ...yawn...ennui-inducing plot lines. Don't get me wrong, It's not a bad movie but I clearly was hard-pressed to find that soul buried deep under all that recklessly inventive CGI effects ( Octopoid drummers, Shark rides, Killer Sea Horses the list is endless!) and the boring politicking of the Atlantean princes that just didn't end. Towards the sozzled climax full of colourful water-gun plasma explosions and teeth horrors straight from the animation studio heads' worst nightmares, I did feel like a weight is lifting off.
It takes Princess Mera's (Amber Heard trying too hard to emote despite the shiny green bodysuit and the outrageous red wig they fit her into) wavy red hair and charms to bring the man down to the courts of Atlantis once again but there he is defeated by the earnest Prince Orm (Patrick Wilson), who with his aquiline roman nose and perfect almost-white blond hair looks exactly like how the heir of Atlana ( Nicole Kidman!) should look like. He is a pure blood Atlantean who truly believes he is the king and his conviction lets him win this fight.
But all is not lost as Mera falls for the roguish charm and smoky eyes of the mongrel child of the sea and land alike and escapes with him; Both of them take off to the kingdom of Deserters( Yeah! I know!) Now this place is set in modern day Sahara and becomes something like a quest to retrieve the "original" trident of the first king of Atlantis - so surf-boy can stake his rightful claims. Many twists and turns later, after surviving countless horrors come to life beautifully (including an intense but short side-diversion in the form of Black Manta, a comic-villain essayed by Yahya Abdul Mateen II, who is a pirate nursing vengeance against the Aquaman for having lost his father on a botched up pirate mission. More on this in a while) on the large screen in excellent CGI. We get back for one more duel that will be decide the future of the worlds as outraged Orm has decided to take some extreme steps to wipe out land-dwellers once and for all, cure them of their dirty habits of throwing plastic cups into the sea.
The story really is that of a prodigal son coming back home to rightfully claim the crown but it becomes unnecessarily muddled with a boring quest and some (undoubtedly brilliant) action sequences. Try as I might, I just couldn't care for Arthur and his blood-rights. Jason tries, oh yeah he tries hard. The devilish grin, the kooky laughs, the smoky eyes - and that surfer body tattooed to an inch with rune-marks. He sadly doesn't get saddled with enough acting opportunities other than ogling at Amber and generally looking good. James Wan focused more on the outrageous sets and the mind-rattling CGI effects and throws us into the middle of a lot of fights, that I heartily confess , sticks to the wall. Patrick Wilson, as the outraged King about to be dethroned by hard-drinking, biker with bad scraggly hair ( who I must say, doesn't look a thing like the possible progeny of Nicole Kidman and that sad bloke near the lighthouse) is earnest enough but hey, we always knew the illegitimate son of Lucius/Draco Malfoy act was a diversion not bound to last through. Yahya is wasted in a side-reel on a vengeance mission - a bit of a delight as I thought he brings in enough menace as a coloured villain but hope gets killed real-fast with his bug-eyed helmet act that had me laughing as he fell heads-down off a rocky cliff. Amber gets to swing her fists, play at magic with her eyes rolled back, mouth wide open when she parts water or shoots down water-planes. But that wasn't enough.
The extraneous plot and the mind-boggling CGI sets cannot see a movie through. In all honesty, Jason could have shouldered a lot more of the acting burden but I guess, the makers just wanted to bring in the comic-book effects bang-on onto the large screen. A largely inconsequential storyline that has no bearing whatsoever on the DC movies story-arc, for me Aquaman - was just barely passable fare.
Comments